To Blog or not Blog….
This was actually my first time blogging and it wasn’t that bad. It helps to put my thoughts together or speak my mind not worrying about a reproach from someone else. I used to think that people who blogged on the computer didn’t really have a life becuase all they did was sit on the computer all day. Now I don’t think that is the case. Blogging helps you rethink about some things that you have done that maybe you would not have had a second thought about hadn’t you written it down. It also helps you become articulate when you want to speak your mind. It’s just like keeping a journal except mabe not so secretive because it is on the internet. Although I like blogging and I think it is a positive thing to do I probably won’t be keeping up with it. It’s not that I’m too lazy to do it, it is just that after a while for some reason or the other I am going to forget about writing a blog for that day. I used to have a journal that I wrote in everyday but eventually it came to a stop for some reason.
Add a comment June 30, 2009
Sing, Sing, a song…or draw:]
On my creative side I love to draw, I am not an artist but I am decent. I have been drawing for five or six years now and I have a notebook with a small collection of drawings. For a while now I havn’t been drawing although I have been feeling expressive lately. I have been very busy with school and work so I havn’t picked up my notebook in a while.
Usually my when I feel emotions like sadness or anger it puts me in the mood to draw so I can express my feelings. I tried to write poetry and exercise when I got mad but none of that stuff worked for me. When I drew it put me in another world and that was the only think I could concentrate on. After I’m done drawing I am a lot more calm and the emotions I was feeling aren’t as strong as they were before. It seemed like that was the only creative thing I was good at. When I was growing up my dad and my uncle would show me portfolios of their drawings when they were younger. Since I was a young I thought they were so talented at drawing that I wanted to know how to do it to. So I would randomly start doodling just to see if I can do it to. I got better and better as I grew up and still even now there are certain things that I can’t draw. I really need to pick it back up because I miss it.
Add a comment June 30, 2009
Stress relief
I was sitting in a lecture one day on how to take notes and study them before taking a big test. The lady was giving the students tips on different things they can do, and one thing she said caught my attention. She said study as much as you can up until the day before the test, the day before the test don’t study just relax and do anything that will relieve your stress. One thing she pointed out to do was to listen to soft music like jazz and do yoga. I thought it was interesting so I wanted to try it. First you extensively study for whatever subject that your test is over. Take breaks from time to time in between the studying to refocus the mind. Then on the day before the test stop everything! Don’t study or do anything remotely close to studying. Go to your room or somewhere quiet and listen to soft jazz music and just relax for a while. For the next step you don’t have to go to a yoga class you can watch and do as they do on the tv, or go on youtube. Next do some yoga for thirty minutes before you go to sleep. The yoga although is almost like a workout will relax the body and stretch the muscles.
I was told this method works and it sounds pretty cool so I’m willing to try it.
Add a comment June 30, 2009
Assessing ourselves
I don’t think that there is really a certain amount of time when people change. I mean, everybody changes just a tiny bit each day whether it I be an experience or we decide to reform ourselves. We only notice that we have changed months down the road when someone points it out or we just realize it for ourselves. Since January I have overcome some difficult things that I didn’t think I was going to be able to. Time has made me stronger and smarter so the next time around I won’t make those same mistakes. There was a certain school that I had applied for and I was hoping I was going to be accepted, but unfortunately that wasn’t accomplished. Although I did get accepted to go to another school on my top list. It was kind of bitter sweet because I got one and not the other, but I don’t mind because at least I got something instead of nothing. The last few months of high school everybody kind of goes through this change where they realize that wow, they are about to enter the real world. Over the past few months I have matured just a little bit more and learned about a variety of different things about life. My family and my boyfriend have been helping me and giving me advice so I can be ready for when I go to college. I have learned about things that I didn’t even know about and I know it will help me for my future.
Add a comment June 30, 2009
Connecting
I was reading Angel Castaneda’s blogs and he seems like a really cool person. One of his blogs that I liked was the ‘if I were brave’ blog. I thought it was very sweet, open and honest. He seems like a very a very dedicated father. Not alot of people will admit that they are afraid, but instead hold there head up high as there knees start to shake. I myself often times knowingly make a fool of myself also even though I don’t want to. I agree with his definition of bravery, doing something that you are afraid to do and having the courage to admit it. I have similar experiences that he has had like getting extremely mad when going on self destruct mode. Also some of the music I listen to is on his playlist since I like to listen to a little bit of everything. I think if I met him we might become friends.
Add a comment June 25, 2009
Soundtrack of my life
Waking up: damn I’m cold-Lil Wayne feat. Bun B. This song reminds me of the summer because the first time I heard it was when I was out having fun during the summer.
First day of school: Murda Murda- Juelz Santana feat. Cam’ron. I remember going out somewhere with my friends and we were just cruising to this song.
falling in love: want you to be- genuwine. Genuwine is one of my favorite R&b artists so I just like listening to this song.
fight song: picture perfect- chris brown. I like the music video to this song it’s very innovative and different.
breaking up: the calm- drake. I like this song because when you listen to it the words are meaningful.
prom: miss independent-ne yo. This song is definitely dedicated to independent women, so I like to sing along to it.
life: life- K.c. & Jojo. How ironic!! haha. This song is about the hardships of life and what you go through, the tune is mellow.
mental breakdown: love like honey- pretty ricky. I used to listen to this cd constantly and I know every word to all the songs.
driving: la la la- lil wayne. Every time this song comes on I just like to bob my head to it.
flashback: love me- chalie boy. I like to be very goofy when this song comes on because it’s a comical song.
wedding: tears- marques houston. awww that sucks I’m going to have a bad wedding. I usually play this song when I am feeling a little down.
birth of a child: ego- beyonce. This song makes me laugh because it has such a bad double meaning.
final battle: my life- the Game feat. Lil Wayne- It really makes you think about some of the troubled ways people live.
death scene: juicy- pretty ricky. I remember when one of my friends was showing me how he danced to slow songs to this song.
final battle: that’s how you like it- beyonce feat. jay z. This song reminds me of when I was young and I just started listening to r&b and rap.
death scene: when we make love- genuwine. Genuwine has such a pretty voice when he sings.
funeral song: she’s gone-brutha. Another ironic one!! haha. This song makes me think of when me and my boyfriend broke up and he wanted me back later on but I didn’t want us together again.
end credit: love in the club- usher. I will always love this song, to me i can never get tired listening to this song.
Add a comment June 24, 2009
Cleaning House
Whenever I get too lazy to clean my room I always just kick everything under the bed, which leaves all kinds of misplaced knickknacks under there. So I decided to clean under there and see what I could discover. It was like an old unoccupied house left untouched for years. There was dust and and dead bugs laying around everywhere. I found papers from sophmore year of high school (I am graduated now) and shoes that don’t fit me anymore. I removed all the unneeded mess and clutter that was just taking up space under my bed. I found my drawing book that I havn’t seen in months, I was really glad I found it so I can go back to drawing again. Cleaning it and looking at all the things that I had from the past, made me feel like I was taking a step towards a new life. I wouldn’t be needing all that stuff anymore since I will be going to college in August. It was like moving away from the past and clearing the way for the future.
Add a comment June 20, 2009
When I grow up
“When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian.” I always said when I was young. I loved all animals with a passion and I wanted to be able to take care of them. It wasn’t until the seventh grade that I wanted to change what I wanted to be. It changed because every time I told an adult that I wanted to be a veterinarian he or she would put me down. “Do you know how many years of school that is?” they would ask, assuming that I didn’t already know. What really got me was when my uncle was taking me to school one day he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I wanted to be a vet because I loved animals. He then said it took a lot of years in college to become a vet and one of his friends is a vet. He said his friend hated the job and would cry every time that they had to put an animal down. That shocked me greatly imagining a grown man crying at his job. That really pushed me to change my mind. It was as if he was meaning to crush my dreams or maybe get it into my mind that I couldn’t do it. Maybe if he had offered me to visit his friend to see what vets do my life would probably be on a different track. There is really no way now to bring that aspect of my dreams back.
Add a comment June 20, 2009
In the news…
I was watching the news this week and this one story really caught my attention. The title said ‘woman skinned puppy to make belt’. The title itself captured my attention because it interested and disgusted me at the same time. The newscast said that the woman skinned the six week old Jack Russel Terrier to make a belt out of his hide. When I did more research on the story it was more in depth about what really happened. She wanted to puppy named Poplin, killed because it was a gift from a female ex-lover with whom she doesn’t get along. Mullins, the woman’s friend shot the terrier ten times with a .22 caliber pistol, the woman then skinned the animal at her apartment and nailed the hide to a board. So the hide was nailed not made into a belt. I think some stories impact us more then others because those certain topics really touch our emotions. It influences us into wanting to do something about it. Looking back over my life there was this one newstory I always remembered. It stood out to me because it was about this young man that was murdered in cold blood and stuffed into the the back of his car’s trunk. He was kindly giving a ride to someone of somewhat aquaintance, a ride home from a party when the passenger up and shot him for whatever reason. I later found out that the victim was my boyfriend’s best friend. It just shocked me so much to have someone I knew friends’ die.
Add a comment June 20, 2009
My self destruction
Since I was little I have always been told “Mefti! you have such a short temper, your like a raging bull!” I didn’t think it was that bad, every once in a while I would snap. Then one incident made me realize that I can go completely ballistic over something so small. It was my fourteenth birthday and I was throwing a swimming party. I invited all my closest friends; My plan was to swim, eat pizza and cake then watch a movie. Everything was going as planned. One of my friends helped me decorate my house and the pavillion next to the community pool. After we swam for three or four hours, it was time for the pizza and cake. My dad came in with the cake as soon as were done with the pizza. I noticed the cake had some fruit on it, which I didn’t like. I knew my dad knew I liked chocolate cake, so I thought maybe the fruit was just decoration. My family and friends sang me happy birthday and I sliced the cake cutting a piece for everyone. As soon as I looked at the first slice, I banged the plate down and angrily marched to my dad. “Daddy!” I screamed not caring whether anybody herad me or not. “Why would you get fruitcake?! You know I hate fruitcake! What is wrong with you?” I raged. My dad being the patient and tolerating man he is, took me aside and apologized for the mistake. I ranted and raved for a good ten minutes before storming back to the party. My friends were asking what was wrong and I just took my anger out on them. When I get angry I stay angry for a long time and I take it out on anyone who chooses to come near me. Later on that night I apologized to everyone over the way I acted. As time passed my anger issues got better but from time to time I snap. I completely self destruct when I’m mad, and I destruct everything else around me to.
Add a comment June 19, 2009
